Friday, November 20, 2009
We ask everyone to join us in prayer as we prepare for our future. Pray for wisdom and discernment as Jonas begins making decisions regarding his career. Pray for the people Jonas will come in contact with during the hiring process. Pray God's hand is in it all. Pray from financial support to pay for the school Jonas just went through and any other financial issues that may or may not come up while Jonas is inbetween jobs. Lastly, pray for our hearts. Pray the Lord gives us patience and renewed spirits daily so we can prepare to be disciples in His kingdom. Where ever it may be.
Jonas and I are beyond blessed to have such wonderful friends and family. Friends that we can depend on for uplifting prayer and support. I pray each one of you knows that you can depend on us as well. Please let us know any way we can pray for you!
I am overwhelmed by God's love for us failing sinners. May our lives be a testimony to the cross! AMEN?? AMEN!!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Work has been going fairly steady. We had a meeting about a week ago. There has been a lot of confusion about what exactly our job descriptions are. My boss used this time to go over some little issues we have been having. I was also promoted as to key holder and sales/floor leader. I was a little nervous how the rest of the staff would take this news, seeing as I am the newest member of the team. Anthony let them all know that following Saturday and I was very surprised with the reaction. They were very quick to ask questions and my opinion during sales. I was relieved to feel some respect and companionship among co-workers. I am learning a lot about sales and I am grateful to be getting the experience.
Jonas is wrapping up the last month and a half of his school. He turned all of his paperwork in for his initial FAA applications back a few months ago. Right now he is waiting to get recommended by the school for his Traffic Operator certification. It has been a very long process and we are both very anxious to get it all over with. It takes a long time with the FAA to get hired and we are excited to see where the Lord leads us with his job. Please continue to pray that the process is speedy and the Lord uses us wherever we end up. Also pray for financial support for Jonas while he is in school and pray for aide to pay for the school. ( That is a whole story in its self)
We are still praying for the future of our relationship. Our 6 year anniversary is in about a month. It is harder and harder every day we are not married. Jonas is living in Garland right now with his mom to save money. He is splitting his time in Denton and Garland. I am pretty tired of the girlfriend thing. I can't help but think we are so far behind everyone else. A lot of our friends are already married and NOW starting to have kids. As much as I want to be his wife, I know God's timing is perfect.
I have been very hesitant about finding a church home lately. It would be such a temporary position for me and I want to serve 100% without feeling like I have a deadline. Through this whole spiritual battle, God has truly blessed with some awesome Godly friends who encourage us daily. It is nice to know you don't have to act like a "typical" twenty something in a bar to have a good time. Some of my favorite moments lately have been playing Phase 10 and watching football games. It is weird to think how much things change from year to year and moment to moment. Things I used to care less about and take for granted (a steady pay check or the 20 min of nothing to do before work) are things I am truly grateful for now.
Who knows what the next few months will bring. One thing I do know, is I am being held and protected in His hands, and He has never dropped me before.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I moved into a new apartment with my best friend Lauren. I took over a friends lease in April at University Uptown apartments. Needless to say we felt $565 per person a month was a little steep. It never really feel like home because I didn't get to decorate or do any fun things like that. Through some failed attempts with apartment complexes and a couple of houses, Lauren and I settled down at La Colina apartments. It has been so much fun decorating and making it feel like home!
Jonas and I have really been contemplating the future of our relationship and when we will be taking the next step in our relationship. We are thinking we will probably tying the knot next Spring. We have really been waiting on God's timing and we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel! Needless to say in my line of work I have been extremely anxious about getting out there and finding MY dress. We are very anxious to see where God leads us. We have built some beautiful relationships here in Texas. There is a possibility Jonas will get placed in California or somewhere else in Texas. It makes us a little sad to think about leaving the people that have become our family. There is so many milestones we would miss. I have 3 very close friends who will be having babies in the next year and it is sad to think I will miss so many precious moments. Our relationship with our friends the Garrison's would be very hard to part with. Steve, Ashlea, and Dylan have brought such joy to our lives it is difficult thinking we could be miles apart!
Through all the exciting changes God has been extremely evident in it all. I have the utmost confidence in our Lord. His plan and will is perfect!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Jonas has been my rock for the past 5 years. From December - February he allowed me to live with him and his mom until I found a job. Putting up with my constant negativity and mood swings... blaming him for my unhappiness... and putting him down to make myself feel better. WHY?!?! I don't know...
April 19th, the Lord revealed it to me in a very real way... He almost took from me the gift and tangible rock he had blessed me with, Jonas. Nothing physically happened to him. But, emotionally he was broken, and it was all because of me! I said things and did things I would never have done...the question I kept asking myself is WHHHYYY?!?! What happened...
Then all I could do was think...When was the last time I went to church? When was the last time I read my bible? When was the last time I sat alone with God?...I couldn't remember. Christ has always brought me out of the darkness! Why did I not rely on him to do that this time? Oh wait... He did... He gave me a job...friends...a home... Where did I give Him the credit? I didn't...
Instead... I got busy...I work, eat, and sleep. Day in and day out. I worked on Sundays. I stopped seeing the joy Christ put in my life daily! Satan became very real... taking credit for Christ, telling me it was ok to act the way I did toward other people. It isn't...
Starting tomorrow I am going to Recovery... it is a group where I can talk about my past and present life issues. Reading my testimony you can see I have issues to work out. The past 6 months I let Satan invade my privacy and my relationship with Christ. I need to let Christ shine. Hopefully I can do that there without weighing down my relationships on Earth. God can handle my past and my burdens. My friends don't need that. Help me to stay on track. Keep me accountable !
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
When I was about 4 or 5, I remember sitting by a sliding glass window waiting for my dad to come home. My dad worked out of town a lot so when he was home, this Daddy's Girl was attached to his leg! He got home one night and I demanded to know where he was. He told me he was at church! I told him I wanted to go! He started taking me to church whenever he could. He played bass and sang in the band so we went more then once a week. I remember going to Sunday School and church services but that's about it. I would stay awake just long enough to see my dad play then I would lay down on the pew and go to sleep. When my parents split up and got divorced we stopped attending church.
The reason they split... I always remember my parents fighting. I remember asking them to wait to get divorced till I was 10...I don't know why 10 but I remember asking them that... I knew my parents were never happy. My dad is a wonderful, kind man that was married to my mom. There was a lot of infidelity and money problems that led my dad to file for bankruptcy. My dad's final straw was when my mom said she thought she might be gay. My parents were separated for almost 2 years before they actually divorced. During that time my dad still supported my mom and I financially while he moved to Bermuda then later took a job in Houston. When they divorced my dad decided not to fight for custody because he wanted to spare me as much as possible. When I was in 2nd grade we moved in with a woman who I thought was just a "roommate". God really shielded me. We lived with this woman for a few years. My dad remarried when I was in 3rd grade. I continued living with my mom. My mom was a great mom that sacrificed for me as much as she could. She could have made much better life decisions but I was fine.
Since I was 2, God blessed me with a wonderful second family, The Trahan's. With that came the sister I never had, Britny Jade!! Theresia and Steve knew all the details about my home life and took me in like I was their own daughter! They let me stay over at their house whenever I wanted, took me on vacations, and Theresia kept me at her home daycare during the day! In 6th grade, Theresia and Steve felt like something was missing in their life and started visiting churchs. Since Britny and I didn't really function well in new situations without each other, naturally I went along for the ride. They became members of Northlake Baptist Church in Garland. I was there every Sunday and Wednesday with them. Around Halloween in 7th grade, we went as a group to House of Judgement, a haunted house with a message of Jesus Christ and heaven and hell. It literally scared the hell out of me because I accepted Christ that night. I didn't tell anyone though. Ironically, Britny accepted Christ on the same night!
During 8th grade, we had moved in with my mom's new "roommate". My home life was always and "unspoken" subject and everyone tipped toed around it like eggshells. I carried my mom's burden just as much as she did. As an adolescent, I was very concearned with the outside looking in. I became pretty wrapped in outward appearance and the goal of popularity. I was never fat by any stretch of the imagination! When I hit a triple digit weight of 102 lbs. in 8th grade, I freaked out! I stopped eating my food. Pushing food around my plate and hiding chicken under my mash potatoes to look like I ate. Eating a few french fries and a grape Fruitopia for lunch. In March of my 8th grade year, I was sitting at the bar in Trahan kitchen before school pushing a waffle around my plate. Theresia, being the blunt person she is, told me to finish the waffle because I was too skinny. I got up and went to her bathroom to weigh myself, the scale said 81 lbs. 102 lbs. to 81 lbs. in a month. That was a Godsmack. You know when God slaps you in the face and says "What the heck are you doing?!" Needless to say, I finished all my meals after that day. I also made church a priority!
The summer after my 9th grade year, I went to church camp. A girl in my youth group, Adrienne, came up to me during worship one night and said she didn't know why, but she wanted to pray for me. She did. That night, God rocked my soul and set a fire in me! A few months later I told my youth minister, Chris Trent, I wanted to be baptized. God was preparing me for the few years a head where it would get rocky.
About 10th grade, I noticed my mom drinking more but it wasn't bad. The summer of my junior year, my mom, her "roommate", and I, moved into a house. Which used to belong to Theresia's parents. The drinking between the two of them got worst and the verbal wars raged between them. The "roommate" would hurl remarks and hurtful things at my mom and about me. I remember crying myself to sleep, not knowing if the fights would end up with my mom and I not having a place to live. I would pull out my bible and read or sing worship music to calm me. Jesus was my Shield and Protector.
Church and the Trahan's were my safe haven. I stared dating Jonas, in November of my senior year. He was another constant Godly encouragement and still is to this day. I prayed for a way out of that house! I knew my parents couldn't afford college. God poured out blessings! I got accepted to TWU with an academic scholarship! On top of that I got 3 more scholarships! Through federal grants, the rest of my college was covered...all four years!
Today, God has continued to bless this failing sinner. I was the first person, on either side of my family to graduate college. Not only did I graduate, but I did it with Honors. I have a boyfriend that gives my unconditional support and love, that will make the most AMAZING husband and father! I don't deserve any of this because I fail Christ everyday. But that is the meaning of Grace. Realizing you are nothing without God, but giving yourself to him broken and tattered anyways.
God has truly brought me out of the Valley of Death! I pray that my tesitimony will GLORIFY HIS WONDERFUL NAME! God, forgive me, for not speaking my testimony sooner.
Salvation...tis the gift...of life!
Friday, January 23, 2009
So I was watching Oprah today and it was about women being stuck in jobs they don’t like. I do not want to be that person! These women were becoming estranged from their families and developing medical issues all brought on by stress. There was a guy on their and he was talking about “putting your strengths to work”. So I started thinking…What are my strengths…
Eye for Detail
With some advice from some sweet friends…I just need to pray…God knows my strengths better than I do. He already has a plan for me! I guess the top of my weakness list is still impatient… I pray god will help use these strengths to help better his kingdom and provide me job where I will be joyous.