Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Tis the gift...

Life could not be better right now! My previous blogs have mostly been about not so patiently waiting! I needed a job, money, a place to live, and much more! I truly know the blessings of prayer and petition! Our God is abundantly generous when we constantly fail Him! The recent joy God has brought to my soul, really reminded me how far He has brought me in my life!! This blog is my testimony to the most amazing blessing I have ever experienced...God's GRACE!

When I was about 4 or 5, I remember sitting by a sliding glass window waiting for my dad to come home. My dad worked out of town a lot so when he was home, this Daddy's Girl was attached to his leg! He got home one night and I demanded to know where he was. He told me he was at church! I told him I wanted to go! He started taking me to church whenever he could. He played bass and sang in the band so we went more then once a week. I remember going to Sunday School and church services but that's about it. I would stay awake just long enough to see my dad play then I would lay down on the pew and go to sleep. When my parents split up and got divorced we stopped attending church.

The reason they split... I always remember my parents fighting. I remember asking them to wait to get divorced till I was 10...I don't know why 10 but I remember asking them that... I knew my parents were never happy. My dad is a wonderful, kind man that was married to my mom. There was a lot of infidelity and money problems that led my dad to file for bankruptcy. My dad's final straw was when my mom said she thought she might be gay. My parents were separated for almost 2 years before they actually divorced. During that time my dad still supported my mom and I financially while he moved to Bermuda then later took a job in Houston. When they divorced my dad decided not to fight for custody because he wanted to spare me as much as possible. When I was in 2nd grade we moved in with a woman who I thought was just a "roommate". God really shielded me. We lived with this woman for a few years. My dad remarried when I was in 3rd grade. I continued living with my mom. My mom was a great mom that sacrificed for me as much as she could. She could have made much better life decisions but I was fine.

Since I was 2, God blessed me with a wonderful second family, The Trahan's. With that came the sister I never had, Britny Jade!! Theresia and Steve knew all the details about my home life and took me in like I was their own daughter! They let me stay over at their house whenever I wanted, took me on vacations, and Theresia kept me at her home daycare during the day! In 6th grade, Theresia and Steve felt like something was missing in their life and started visiting churchs. Since Britny and I didn't really function well in new situations without each other, naturally I went along for the ride. They became members of Northlake Baptist Church in Garland. I was there every Sunday and Wednesday with them. Around Halloween in 7th grade, we went as a group to House of Judgement, a haunted house with a message of Jesus Christ and heaven and hell. It literally scared the hell out of me because I accepted Christ that night. I didn't tell anyone though. Ironically, Britny accepted Christ on the same night!

During 8th grade, we had moved in with my mom's new "roommate". My home life was always and "unspoken" subject and everyone tipped toed around it like eggshells. I carried my mom's burden just as much as she did. As an adolescent, I was very concearned with the outside looking in. I became pretty wrapped in outward appearance and the goal of popularity. I was never fat by any stretch of the imagination! When I hit a triple digit weight of 102 lbs. in 8th grade, I freaked out! I stopped eating my food. Pushing food around my plate and hiding chicken under my mash potatoes to look like I ate. Eating a few french fries and a grape Fruitopia for lunch. In March of my 8th grade year, I was sitting at the bar in Trahan kitchen before school pushing a waffle around my plate. Theresia, being the blunt person she is, told me to finish the waffle because I was too skinny. I got up and went to her bathroom to weigh myself, the scale said 81 lbs. 102 lbs. to 81 lbs. in a month. That was a Godsmack. You know when God slaps you in the face and says "What the heck are you doing?!" Needless to say, I finished all my meals after that day. I also made church a priority!

The summer after my 9th grade year, I went to church camp. A girl in my youth group, Adrienne, came up to me during worship one night and said she didn't know why, but she wanted to pray for me. She did. That night, God rocked my soul and set a fire in me! A few months later I told my youth minister, Chris Trent, I wanted to be baptized. God was preparing me for the few years a head where it would get rocky.

About 10th grade, I noticed my mom drinking more but it wasn't bad. The summer of my junior year, my mom, her "roommate", and I, moved into a house. Which used to belong to Theresia's parents. The drinking between the two of them got worst and the verbal wars raged between them. The "roommate" would hurl remarks and hurtful things at my mom and about me. I remember crying myself to sleep, not knowing if the fights would end up with my mom and I not having a place to live. I would pull out my bible and read or sing worship music to calm me. Jesus was my Shield and Protector.

Church and the Trahan's were my safe haven. I stared dating Jonas, in November of my senior year. He was another constant Godly encouragement and still is to this day. I prayed for a way out of that house! I knew my parents couldn't afford college. God poured out blessings! I got accepted to TWU with an academic scholarship! On top of that I got 3 more scholarships! Through federal grants, the rest of my college was covered...all four years!

Today, God has continued to bless this failing sinner. I was the first person, on either side of my family to graduate college. Not only did I graduate, but I did it with Honors. I have a boyfriend that gives my unconditional support and love, that will make the most AMAZING husband and father! I don't deserve any of this because I fail Christ everyday. But that is the meaning of Grace. Realizing you are nothing without God, but giving yourself to him broken and tattered anyways.

God has truly brought me out of the Valley of Death! I pray that my tesitimony will GLORIFY HIS WONDERFUL NAME! God, forgive me, for not speaking my testimony sooner.

Salvation...tis the gift...of life!

Layout Credit

About Me

My photo
Garland, Texas, United States

Pageviews last month