Monday, January 16, 2012

Strugglin' with the all the junk...

***DISCLAIMER*** This is a very long post.  I did not mean for it to be...but it is.

Yes I am strugglin' with junk...
specifically the junk in my trunk.  

When I was growing up weight was never really a problem for me... I was always very petite around 5ft until college when I grew about an inch.  Yes that inch is VERY important to me :) My weight from about 8th grade until my freshman year in college was 102 lbs. Yes I know that is a specific number but that is exactly what I weighed all of those years.  I was always somewhat active.  I played softball from the time I was 7 until I was 17.  Not competitive but I was active needless to say.  I also started dancing in high school and a couple of years in college.  Nothing special just a recreational hobby.  I was pretty proud that I got through my freshman year without the dreaded "Freshman 15".  I thought I was free and clear and destined to be one of those people who stayed skinny forever without much effort.  That was until sophomore year of college rolled around....

Pictures before my sophomore year of college


Summer after junior year of high school.


Summer after senior year of high school


November of my freshman year of college

Something happened my sophomore year of college and I am not quite sure what it was...Jonas had moved back to Texas from California and had moved to Denton to be closer to me.  They say the happier you are the more weight you gain...Mainly because of your comfort level I guess.  I think when you are in a long term relationship and you know that your significant other will love you no matter what. (Which is VERY true about Jonas! He says he loves my body as much now as when we were in our early stages of dating.)  Some of it was probably college eating habits.  Late night studying, 2 AM runs to McDonald's, Cup-O-Noodles, popcorn, that Coke at 1 AM to give you that extra hour to write those last three pages. Well I went from 102 lbs to about 125 lbs by the end of my sophomore year.  I remember the exact picture that made me realize how much weight I had gained... and here it is.


Some of you may be thinking...wow your hard on yourself.  But I was at my peak sophomore weight here.

That summer I went home and got back on a consistent eating schedule.  My  mom didn't really buy soda so all we had was bottled water and tea. I had a consistent sleep schedule with a summer job.  In about a month and a half I was back down to about 105 lbs.  Jonas and I went on a hiatus that summer and so I tried my best to keep as busy as possible.  It was easy to keep it off.  Jonas and I got back together that November and my weight slowly climbed to about 115 lbs and stayed there for the next 2 years.  I was healthy and happy.  I stayed active and between being a full time student and working 6 days a week it was pretty easy to maintain.  Here are a few pictures from that time frame...





Now that was up until the fall of 2008... Starting about January of 2009 I started putting on weight a little bit at a time.  Gradually enough to not really notice right away...I started to realize that I was having to buy new clothes and tuck old clothes and dresses that didn't fit to the back of my closet.  I started becoming self-conscious about the kind of clothes I was buying...(shorts had to be to the knee to prevent them from riding because my thighs were rubbing together, shirts and dresses needed to be at lease 3/4 to hide my arms, bathing suits HAD to be worn with shorts and at least a tankini...) My current weight is 135 lbs...that is officially the most I have ever weighed.  Hardly any of that is muscle mass.  My "final straw" pictures...



This one especially hurts because I will never be able to get this day back.  As incredibly happy as I was for my best friend I just CANNOT look at these pictures of me or of her and I with complete joy because of how I look.




The Game Plan...

  1. Get a gym membership ( work out at least 4 times a week.)- I am not going to try to work out everyday or set that as a goal because life gets busy... Everyday is not always feasible.  I don't want to set myself up to feel like a failure.
  2. Snacky Snack- I am forcing myself to eat small meals and snacks every two hours.  I have been doing this for the last few days and I can already feel my body adjusting to the change.  I am less hungry every two hours and don't need a full meal.  It keeps my metabolism going all day.
  3. Calorie cuts-  I love greasy, fried food.  I also love creamy foods.  Ultimately, this has probably added to the majority of my weight gain.  Cutting my calories and trying to get back on track with the good stuff will help my metabolism.  Along with my calories, I am cutting my sodium, carbs, and sugars.  I am not saying I won't have any of those things.  I am just taking a more cautious approach.  
  4. Water-  I am upping my water intake.  Right now I am using bottled water.  I know it isn't the best for the environment.  I feel like I drink less water now that we moved because I HATE Dallas water...For some reason, water tastes better the further north towards Denton you go on I-35.  Just an observation :D
  5. No more soda-  I am no longer drinking soda.  I am fasting from soda for the month of January during a time of fasting and worship for church.  However, I know it is something I am going to keep up with. I already feel 100 times better just by not drinking soda.  
  6. Slimquick-  Some may find this controversial or cheating.  However, I am taking the Slimquick pills not the drinks.  The drinks are meant to be appetite suppressors.  That would completely negate me eating ever two hours.  The pills are essentially a multivitamin with green tea.  Vitamins are something I need very badly.  I know the eating habits I had were very much lacking in nutrients I need.
I am starting the biggest loser at the school I am substituting at on Tuesday.  This will force me to weigh in weekly and track my progress.  I will be updating my blog weekly (at least attempting) to keep myself accountable. I know hardly anyone reads this but it gives me steps to follow.  When I do achieve my goal I want to be able to look back and feel a sense of growth and accomplishment. Soooo let the fun begin!
  

My goal weight: 110 lbs.

My weight today:  135 lbs.

Pounds until my goal weight: 25 lbs.




2 comments:

Julie said...

I know the struggles that you face, and it's harder losing weight being of petite stature (I'm also 5'0"), but you can do it! I've always struggled with my weight, and it usually comes off slowly, but the slower it comes off the slower it goes back on! Good luck on your journey! Can't wait to read up on how it goes for you!

Natalie said...

hey girl, i recommend a book called "love to eat, hate to eat" by elyze fitzpatrick. she very much dives into the fact that Jesus is the answer. all of the plans we create for losing weight are good, but without focusing on Him to solve our problems, we will just keep reverting back to the food. i am going through it now, even in pregnancy, but it's so good and i hope you'll look into it :) i'll be praying for you in this, because it really is so very tough. but you can do it! :)

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